Why have we grown up in the first place?
✨ The sun does not sink into the sea...and this means that I have already grown up✨
✨This piece is written in honor of the Palestinian and Lebanese children who do not grow up in a safe place because of the Israeli barbarism✨
As long as the memories of your childhood are just plausibly fine and free of unforgettable traumatic experiences, you may regret having grown up and may wish you could travel through time and restore your good old days. You try hard to find any logical answer to the complicated and perplexing question: Why do people grow up and become full-blown adults? Well, you may not necessarily find answers to this question because you yourself cannot make sense of the rapid passage of time that continues to catch you off guard and have a lifelong impact on your soul, your mind, and your body. You know, and cannot deny, that every single passed moment means that you continuously grow physically, mentally, and psychologically. We can't separate ourselves from the inevitable effect of time, nor can't we be immune to time-caused changes and transformations. As time passes by, we all go through a series of developmental phases that change who we are internally and externally. Our voices change, the shape of our bodies becomes different and sometimes fluctuates, our perspectives and outlooks on life transform, our social communication skills and unique talents start to take shape, our facial features become inscrutable, and our mannerisms and characterizations become serious, and well designed.
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As children, we would not care that much about what was going on in the world because our small worlds were already busy and full of pleasant and unpleasant events and situations. We might not have the mental capacity or the cognitive ability to understand the difference between our naively developed micro worlds and the real macro world. But when we enter the territory of adulthood, we say goodbye to our innocence and welcome the burden of being a grown-up. The problem does not lie in the fact that we grow up and are expected to become more responsible and put-together. Although this mission is by no means easy, costless, or effortless, we have to train ourselves to be disciplined and decisive so that we think rationally, solve intractable problems, and make sensible decisions. Thus, we can take on responsibilities and build our lives in the proverbial way. But this point may fade away against the difficulty of trying to accept the very haunting notion that we are bombarded with brutal facts about the world, its history, and its past and present inhabitants.
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The first sign that indicates that children are no longer children but adults is when they learn that the sun does not sink into the deep sea when it sets and that the dark clouds do not form in the sky because people are depressed. Being catapulted into the bizarre world of grownups means that you cannot prevent your eyes from witnessing catastrophic events and unbearable situations that may face any sane adult in the cosmos. You see them( I mean these events and situations) and perceive their different impacts, not to mention analyze and make sense of them. At this point, you should employ your rational thinking and cognitive ability to find effective, practical solutions to any unwelcome visit of a certain affliction or problem. Before accusing me of being too pessimistic, I don't deny that adults will have some moments filled with euphoria and satisfaction or that they will never experience the peak of happiness at many stages of their lives.
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My point is to understand why an adult’s life is, to use a cliché word, hard. Any living creature who seems to have human characteristics intrinsically understands that life is full of black and white days, although those of grey color cannot be denied, too. But the hardest part of living as an adult is that you should cope with new good and bad circumstances and get accustomed to endless life's challenges and obstacles. Otherwise, you surrender to your mental distress and be at the mercy of your overwhelming affairs. Adults have to embrace uncertainty but plan for the future, work on new projects but relinquish control of the uncontrollable results, expand their social networks but take care of mental health, understand politics and economics but focus on important life issues, and reach the level of self-actualization but take a break. The list can go on forever. We notice that those who bid their childhood farewell are expected to reconcile with the paradoxical nature of life. You have to hold two conflicting emotions at the same time, or people will blame you for your lack of adaptivity. It is as if adults are supposed to have the rationality and wisdom to solve intractable problems while feeling grateful for life because it never ceases to hurl a new set of struggles at them.
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Imagine that you are an adult_of course your are_ and you try to buy a new house, which is a hardly attainable dream. You save up a good amount of money in order to purchase the house you want. Now, instead of putting a down payment on the new dwelling, you get involved in a tragic car accident that costs you a lot of financial and emotional losses. You are unfortunately no longer able to actualize your long-awaited dream because all that you have is about to be spent on paying the hospital bill and fixing your once beautiful car. Other fellow adults will probably advise you not to worry about the car as much as you do about your health, and try to make a case that what happened to you may be a blessing in disguise. Hence, you are entitled to feel disappointed and are told to be optimistic and thankful, leaving no room for complaining or groaning. How on Earth can a human being experience two opposing feelings simultaneously? Well, all humans should accept that willy-nilly.
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The beauty of being a child is that you tend to take everything at face value and believe that things will get better with time, even if you make no effort to better them by yourself. Children know nothing about the true devilish face of political leaders, the unrestrained greed of capitalists, the shocking increasing rate of poverty, the high mortality because of chronic diseases, the growing sense of inhumanity among the evils, or the complex equation of hard work and luck. Children are concerned about their joy and entertainment as they live by the mantra “ let's explore the world”. Nevertheless, we shouldn't lose hope entirely, for hope is the last thing that can help us survive these ugly events bursting in different parts of the world. As adults, we need to be grounded in our high values and moral principles. Turn back to Allah Almighty. Be human.
With love, Marwa 🌹 ✨